HP convo
by Dark-flames
Summary: the story you are about to read is crazy. You may be mentally damaged for the rest of your life. Just warning… Enjoy… oh and its great, review please...
1. Disclaimer

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, well except some of them, oh and the plots all mine and Angelicas.. And... I'll just stop right there. We praise you almighty JK Rowling, pleaseeeeeeee don't sue usbegs

Thanks...

Love Darkflames(Petra) and Evilatthemoment(Angelica)

Summary: the story you are about to read is crazy. You may be mentally damaged for the rest of your life. Just warning... Enjoy...

Oh and it was written by me(Darkflames) Petra and Angelica (evilatthemoment). We are mentally disturbed, so don't look at us for explanations. Reviews are highly appreciated. PLEASE REVIEW! Flames are eve fine. Just review. We need itpleads

Well, story ahead...

Love P and A...


	2. chapter one

Ok, now that you've brought me into the mood, bring on the good-ness! Torment Draco and his sister more! MORE! WITH BLOOD! Gimme blood! I need it! I crave it! insane eyes

drool THEN you can bring in Harry so he can kiss Draco's pain away! happysighY-you are going to make it slash, right? Right? poke-nessof to la-la land with Harry and DracoThey'll be just fine! Now I shall kidnap MY hunky sex-object!  
runs away with LuciusL: Get your hands of me you filthy muggler!A: Never! drool Now shut up, slave!L: I am noones slave! You can't scare me!A: You wanna bet?L: Avade ke-A: gropesL: screams and runs away

Aaaah, I don't have to have dreams of Harry and Draco actually! I have my own chars to pair up! nodhappysmilesigh I'm just wondering; Are you by any chance a daydreamer? Or am I all alone on that fact??!!! :o

sobs It's so lonely......

hugs Draco

D: It's bad enough you have to grope my father! Do you really have to cling all over me too???!!

A: Weeell, duuuh! You're even hotter then your father aaaand I have a better chance to marry you, seeing as Lucius obviously is head over heals for Snape.....thinks Bad enough Snape's in love with Remus....ooooh...even worse that Remus is mourning the loss of his one tru love, Sirius...sigh

D: What the heck are you about woman??!!!!! panic

A: Woman??? Where?! looks around in horror

D: You, you stupid muggler or mudblood or whatever you are! Hey, what are you anyway? scowl

A: Do I look like I know? scowlback

D: Are you even human?

A: Are you sure you want to know? rises eyebow

D: Uhm...no...not really....

L: Stop manhandling my son! AVA-

A: grope

L: screams like a girl and runs away yet again

D: still in Angels' grip I-I just don't know him anymore....sigh

A: purrs and snuggles to Draco Lots of love from us! I promise you can come to the wedding!!

D: whimpers

D: At least one of us is having some fun...me, I have to sit here, IN A LEASH, thank you veeeery much....

A: Aaaw, but it makes you look so cute!

D: sigh

L: Uhm...looks out from behind Narcissa C-could I get my son back? Please? hides yet again

N: sigh

A: Aaaaw, well sure! beams and hands Dracos leash to Lucius

L: takes the leash and quickly makes his way backwards to the door Thank you! disappears

N: sighs and walks away

A: Aaaaw...I'm all alone now....

T: That's right! DIE! DIEEEE! kisses Sirius who just a moment ago sprung alive

S: dead

H: NOOOO! Not again! throws himself in the arms of Draco

D: in shock Eeeeehh....

H: sob He was so young and beautiful...sob

L: cough Draco...it there something you'd like to tell me?

R: comes in and sees Sirius NOooooOOooOoOOooOooOOoOO! throws himself sobbing at Lucius My one love! sobs some more

Dumbledore comes in, steals Lucius snake-cane and walks out again

L: ...pets Remus on his back There there...

R: grabs Lucius collar Lets make love! drags Lucius with him into a bedroom

L: small voice....help meeeeeeeee.....

H: falls to the floor sobbing

A door is slammed shut and whimpers can be heard from Lucius

T: Uhm... oookey...flies away

Leo: Have I missed anything?

D: No! Absolutley nothing! throws a blanket over Harry and walks away

Leo: Already then....nods

Leo walks across the room to put on the TV, but trips on Sirius lifeless body and gets knocked out cold

D: stands behind A with a frying pan

A: jumps around Hey, now I can write more crappy HP convos!

D: tries to hit A with the fryingpan, but fails and hits Theo over the head instead

T: Why you little-jumps Draco

H: Nooooo! My Draco! gracefully jumps in the way and starts singing all musical-like Noooo! You cannot hurt my Draaaaaac-oh!

D&T: Eeeeehh....

H: dances away, still singing

D: Okey...that was...weird....

Lucius runs by screaming with Angelica after him.

A: MUST GROPE!

L: scream

D: Oh, no! DAD! screams high pitched and runs after them

T: flies away

Lucius runs past once more

A: GRrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRoPE!!!!

D: DAD!

We'll never know...we'll never know...

L: sob And I can't go anywhere without her beeing there...I just don't know what to do...sob

H: I can nooooot stop deepbreath SINGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIvarious morrors and glass objects breaksIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIgets hit over the head with a soccershoe

Petra stands behind Harry with a soccershoe in one hand.

P: And that's the only way to handle your problems! Kill them!

H: That just really hurt...

P: You stopped singing! wickedgrin

H: Wow! How can I ever repay you?!!! glomps Petra

Petra screams and tries to fight him of, while Harry holds her in an iron grip.

L: sob What about my problem?

P: Phew, I know many thingsrepetedly hits Harry with her soccershoe ugh...but I'm not allknowing!

L: B-but you've gotta help me...she's a devil!

P: Who is it?

D: Some girl named Angelica I think...

L: turns around How long have you been standing there?

D: Uuh...some time now...I have nothing better to do....

P: Wow...you're trying to fight of Angelica? Pfff...that's impossibl-CAN YOU GET OF ME!!!??!!!!11one!!1!!!!???

H: NEVER!

real wicked grin on her face

P. You have just gotto get uglier than Draco... And in her eyes its pretty hard, sincce your a lot hotter than him. wicked gleam in eyes towards Draco, well, at least some people say so...

D.screams like a girl and tries to run

A: cuckles Boys...they never seem to learn...

P: Yeah, you've got that right...has sobbing Draco pinned to the floor

D: sob help meeeeee...

H: kicks the door open, wearing weapons from top to toeI will save you, my love!

D: mutter stupid...grumble thinks I'm a girl........idiot...

H: starts shooting wildly AWAY EVIL DEMONS!

voldemort, who just happens to be passing by, gets killed by the gunfire

L: Noooo! MY LO-stops mid scentence thinking about what just happened WAAAHEY! dances

A: Yay! starts to dance with Lucius

Josh Hartnett passes by, but falls over Draco, who seizes the moment of confusion from Petra and runs away

H: yells after DracoWAIT FOR ME MY LOVE! jumps after

P: D-draco?

Angelica and Lucius is still celebrating the death of Voldemort and soon Petra joins in with Josh Hartnett in a steady grip


	3. chapter two

P. Youre a lousy dancer.throws Josh Hartentt away onto voldemort, who just hapened to be not dead but waiting for a human body to eat and regrpwlalalalalalla  
feels a mysterious shadow behind me

L. screams like a girl and jumps on AngelicaSAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

L: ...what am I doing???!!!! LET ME GO YOU EVIL WOMAN! tries to get away from Angelica

A: takes out gun and shoots Voldemort, who dies, once again Never, baby! tries to kiss Lucius, but falls over when Lupin comes, knockes her down and steals Lucius away from her

R: Let's make love! NOW! runs away with Lucius

L: sighs Sure...why not...anything's better then her....

Remus growls and smiles at Lucius as they enter the bedroom to make sweet LUUUURVE .....all....night...long(((bad Angelicahits self))))

A: Well..that was...uuhm...unexpected...

P: lying curled up in a corner Uhuu... sleeeeeps

Draco sneaks in trough the window and quietly hides under the carpet

D: in a quiet voice If he comes by, I'm NOT here!

Angelica nods and gives Draco two thumbs up

P.Wakes up I heard something.

D. Oh shitruns up from under the carpet and hides behind angelica who smiles evilly towards him

A.MOAHAHAH

Footsteps can be heard from ouside the door and soon the doorbell rings

A: quickly writes a note saying 'I am Draco Malfoy, kiss me or die' and puts it on Petras back Mehehehee...

P: Wha....

A: Quick! Draco! Wear this! throws clothers at Draco wich he hurries to put on

H: blows the door open and comes in Dracoooooooo, where are you?

D: standing besida Angelica, sweating Heeh....he...nervous

H: comes up to Draco Sorry, miss, have you by any chance seen Draco Malfoy around here anywhere?

Draco looks horrified at Harry and then down at the fashionable dress he's wearing, silently thanking Angelica

A: Oh, why, there he is! points at Petra

P: 

H: That doesn't look like Draco....

A: turns Petra around and points at the note

H: Oooooooh! Well, then! grabs Petra in a bone crushing hug

L: comes into the room, half naked(((LIKE IN UPPER-BODY, you pervert!!!))) Phew! stops when he sees Draco

Lucius and Draco stands looking at eachother

L: Uh..is thereanything you'd like to tell me?

A: snigger

D: sweatdrop no....

R: Hey, you! I'm not done with you yet! wicked grin

L: sighs and goes with Remus ...how am I going to tell this to Narcissa without being beaten into a bloody pulp?

Angelica and Draco still next to each other

A: turns to Draco Well I think it fits you!

Draco looks Angelica in the eyes and the Titanic song starts playing in teh background

D. I know I dotakes Angelicas hand

A. Are we goign to die?gah with a scary look in her eyes

D. No not like this.

R. What the bloody h...hits the CD player with his woolfie hands

D. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!madly takes the hand back

D: WHO THE HECK TURNED ON THAT STUPID MUSIC...uhm...THING! points to the microwave

Angelica whispers something in Dracos ear and Draco quickly points towards the CD-player

Angelica gives Draco thumbs up

R: I don't know...I don't even know how to do it, so it couldn't have been me....

Lucius whistles and studies his nails whit an interest

L: looks up What?

Everyone else in the room looks accusingly at Lucius((well, except Angelica, who, quite frankly, was occupied with other....more interesting thoughts))

A: thinks out loud DAMN you'd look so good without those trousers on!

Everyone ((hey, guess what, now there's even MORE people in the room, due to a certain...um...transporting black hole installed at Hogwarts))turns around to stare at Angelica

A: What?

L: laughs evilly HAHA, while they're staring at that little girl, I shall sneak out of here an-

A: GROPE! tackles Lucius

D. what!!What about me. I thought I was the hottest guy in the world.. And what are you staring at Potter.

H.is standign leaning against the wall with his mouth wide open and that silly grn. Dra.. Um, Malfoy honey.. I mean uhh!

A. Draco get over here, I don't want you flirting with other women.

D. looks at Harry and then back at Angelica, shakes his head and walks towards Petra who just appeared out of now where.

P. Youck you stupid sits down on the floor and closes his eyes as he starts imitating Yoga!

A: to Petra I think we're starting to get to him....

H: sits down beside Draco and hugs him Aaaah, baby, I still love you!

D: looks all angry and confused at Harry Eeehh...you don't love me!

H: Suuure I do! biggrin

Draco sighs and relaxes a bit

A: Aaaaah, Harry and Draco, sitting in a tree, S-H-Aharry throws a book at Angelica

L: Wow...that was easy...why haven't we tried to throw books at her before? Potter, you're a genius!

H: Thank you Mr. Malfoy! beams and hugs Draco tighter

Draco wimpers

P: checks Angelicas pulse Eeeeh...I think she's dead!

H: holds out ring to Draco Will you marry me?

...CLIFFHANGER....What will happen next? evil


	4. chapter three

P.NOOOOOOO! You can't marry him! He is supposed to marry Ginny and you are supposed to go inot doubble marriage with Angelica and Lucius.. Well! WELL!!!!!!!starts building up her usual flame of dangerous fire

D. Uhhhh.. looks scared and moves slowly away from the scene!!

H. Bad Witch BADBADBADWITCH YOU SCARED MY DRACO!stopps dead in his tracksMarry Draco? What the hell was I thinking my true love is standing right there.

L.just stands there and watches his nailsLakeeps on watching his nails, then looks upWhat do you want Potter!Potter.. Noooo Potter!

Cliffhanger number two...Gah

(((Ooooh..you're evil...)))

H: You know what, Angelica? He really does look damn gorgeous in those trousers!

D: Harry!!!?! twaps Harry over the head

H: Ouch! What was that for? You're not even interested in me!

Petra and Angelica sits in the couch, sharing a big bowl of popcorn

D: That doesn't mean my feelings aren't hurt!

A: whispers to Petra I doubt he wants to admit it, but he looks veeery hurt! points to Draco

D: I'm standing right here! Uh...mutters You'd think I was invisible!

Harry suddenly grabs Draco and kisses him passionately

A: Woho! Action!

R: grabs Lucius around the waist You know, this makes me kind of h-Lucius claps a hand over Remus mouth

L: Don't you say it....

R. Oh yes I'm Horney.  
L. steps back with wa huge flush on his headWhy meee.. I jut wanted to be evil.. WHy ME!

Suddenly Hermione and Ron appear out of nowhere thorought the black hole from Hogwarts

Hr. What i shappening here? You do know you coul db eexpelled for putting up a black hole here.

D. Uhhhuhhuhhuhhhgoggles blood mud...starts speaking wierdly

H: Are you allright, baby? worried

Ron: Baby? sweatdrops

Hr: Are YOU alright, Harry?

H: pokes Draco Love?

Draco is still talking crazy

R: Hornyhornyhorny Hooooooooooooooooornyyyy! sings

L: Ssssssssssshut....up.....

Ron walks to Harry who's trying to comfort Draco, and thwaps him over the head

H: Aaaaaaoo!

D: gasp You hit the love of my life! DIE DIIIIIEEEE! attacks Ron

Ron: Eeep! runs

Hr: There's got to be a reasonable explanation for this!

H: NO DRACO! NOOO! That's my best friend you're trying to kill!

D: He hurt you and I've gotta revenge your pain!

L: sigh It has finally happened...my son has lost his mind....

H: seducive Draaaaacooooo, stop trying to kill my best friend and I'll kiss youuuu!

Draco looks between Ron, whom he has in a deathgrip, and Harry

D: lets go of Ron Come here my darling!

Hr: I mean, love potions are illegal, so it couldn't be that...although, Malfoy is pretty illegal as he is....

L: Witch one of us?

Hermione suddenly realises that sr Malfoy also is standing in the room with them.....topless

Hr: Ga...ga...hee...

L.Well?

Hr. That would depeendshakes her head what am I doing?. Uhmm, I mean uhh, well!

L.looks at Hermione with a wissioius lookYes?

D. kisses Potter passionatley.

Severus Snape. What i soging on Hary ? Harry what do you think your doingSnape realises secretly that the love of his life is standing before him kissing a Malfoy! and Hermione is drewling over Draco

Dumblerdore enters

Dumbledore. Ohh Snape!winks!at!Severus!

A: OK, that was very confusing.....Firts of all: Dumbledore! You're to old for any of us, so therefor you have to go! NOW!

Angelica points at the door and Dumbledore walks away

A: Second: Severus! You're no child molestor! Keep your hands of Harry! Firstly, he is property of Draco, and secondly, the fangirls all have their chances before you! Go fall in love with Remus or something! points at Horny!Remus

R: Yay! I gots meh two hunky sex-objects now!

A: And thirdly: Draco and Lucius, they're both as evil, Hermione! You should know that by now! Oh...and go fall in love with Ron or something!

Ron: Yay!

A: Ron! Go back to being secretly in love with your best friend!

Ron: Yessirmam!

A: Ah...I feel my work here is done for now...nods proudly

P: But...what about me?

A: You made this mess in the first place!

P: thinks Ooooh, yeah, that's right!

P. Points at the horny Remus.What are we going to do about him

L. Don't you darepoints evilly at Petra

A. sits down on the floor and starts sending sparks with her secret wand!

P. I didn't know you wherer a witch!everybody murmurs yeah and moves in slowly on Angelica

A.looks uphee....evilly laughs and starts sayign spells

P: ...uhm...Angelica?

A: Akrava kefrabra! points at everyone

everyone sweatdrops

P: It's supposed to be Avada KedRon hits her with a chair

Ron: Don't tell her that!

A: Tell me whaaaaat?? blinks

Ron: Oh, no! I'm not stupid enough to fall for that!

D: I could have sworn you were!

Ron: Hey! Harry, defend me! I'm your best friend!

D: Hey yourself! I'm only getting you back for all those times when you were mean to my boyfriend!

Ron: in a small voice ....I said I was sorry....

A: Avada Chickenface! points at Snape

Snape gets turned into a yellow bug

A: Weeeeiiii! jumps around

Hr: Uhm...I don't know what to say....

D: Yeah, we all passed that stage loooooong ago!

Hr: ...


	5. chapter four

P. MAybe we should go now ehh?

D. Why, I'm sure nothing can happened. Come on my boyfriend beet Voldie..right?right?looks around for Harry

H....

Hr. Exactly what I said.

D.Yuo didn't say anythign you just stared at us like a mudblood.

H....

HR. My point exactly!

A.Avada monkey!points at Remus who looks at her and starts eating a scary amount of bananas that keep appering from the black hole.

P. Wheres Dumbledore?

everyone looks around for him excapt for Angelica who is evilly playign with her avadas.!

A: Avada Hamburger! points at Hermione

Hermione glowed brightly pink for a moment before she suddenly grabs a hold on Lucius and kisses him

D: stares with mouth wide open DAD!

H: Woha, go Hermy!

Hr: lets go of Lucius Mrrrreow!

L: Hey! Am I the only one getting molested here and WHY ON EARTH aren't anyone helping meeee??!!!?

R: Let's go fgets bitch-slapped by Lucius

L: I'm not doing anything with you until you kill her! points at Hermione

R: sob But I don't waaahahaaaant to kill heeeeer! whines I only want to fgets bitch-slapped once again, this time by Snape

S: No foul languiage infront of the children!

H: mouns Oooh, Draco!

Harry and Draco is laying on the sofa, making out

Ron: I think I'm gonna be sick! runs out to the bathroom

Hr. You lousy Malfoycurse wearign off. I can't believe that I kissed you, I'm secretly in love with Ron and everybody knows that right?

R.Stops throwing uip in the bathroom an dturns around...

H. Ohh...

D. COuld we stop with the ... s please!

Everybody else. ...

D. glares evilly from underneath Harry  
  
R. Can we F now?gets bitch slapped one more time this time by Crookhanks who has mysteriousley found her way itno the room throught the black hole from Hogwarts.

H: kisses Draco again Stop with the what?

D: sighs dreamingly Uuuh...wha...? kisses Harry and they bith fall down on the floor

Voldemort comes in through the door

V: HaHaHaa! Here am I Voldiepants! Oh, um, I mean, Voldemort!

All except for Angelica, who's too buisy playing with her wand: gasp VOLDIEP...uh...mort!

Harry And Draco stops kissing

H: Stand back everybody! I will save you! turns wand to Voldie

V: Avada Kedstops suddenly, Angelica standing by his side

A: I think you're saying it wrong!

V: .....WHAT??!!!

L: Uh...Angelica....that's not the right way to approach Voldemort! shudders

R: I'm hoooornyyyyyy! whines

L: sighs Shut up....

V: WTF?!!

A: I think it's Avada Kartoffel! points at Voldie

Voldie gets turned into a bear

P: Aaaaaw! Cutie! cuddles the bear

L: backs away slowly Uuuh....

R: grabs Lucius and walks away with him, laughin evilly

L: Oh, not again!

V: Groarr!

A: Avada Sugar!

Voldie turns into an austridge

Ron and Hermione rolls around on the floor laughin

Snape. So exactly what is going onturns to Angelica.

everybody in the room turns around slowly and angelica looks evilly back

A. Moahhohaohaohastarts laughing evilly and turns back to Voldie pants, uhh Mort.. Yeah you know what I mean.

P. I am going to stop this!points her finger at Voldie You out! ANd you twopoints at H and D, go back to what you where doing. Voldieuhh whatever he is is supposed to be evil remember?

no one moves an dth esilence is broken only by

L. AAAAAAH!

R. Voldie?

Voldie. Now that I think of itm, I like Lucius more...Get away from my private death eate!

A&R: AAAAAGH! MY LUCIUS! suddenly stops up to glare evilly at eachother

V: No, now he's mine! He is mine and we will rugets knocked down with a chair

Narcissa stands behind him with a chair raised over his head

N: You're all wrong! He's legally mine! holds up marriage licence

A: Eh, you know he's been shagging Remus here, don't you?

Narcissa turnes around to Remus

N: growls Quit manipulating my idiotic husband!

Lucius starts to protest, but thinks about it and decides to just shut up and sit down

A: runs forward and tries to take the marriage licence from Narcissa RARRR!

N: stabs Angelica through the stomach with a stick GAAAH!

A: Ouch....lies in a bloody heap with Voldy

D: Mom...you...you killed Angelica...stunned

H: She...she's dead?

Harry and Draco looks numbly at eachother before they hug and starts dancing and singing

H&D: SHE'S DEAD! SHE'S DEAD!!!! jumps around

P: Wow...I don't know what to say....

everybody turns to look at Narcissa

A and V. No one can ever kill us.both start laughing insanely and everyone turns back to look at them

P. THis is just fuing strange!

R. Anybody saying fu?I'll do that, with with.. starts sobing uncontrollably onto Narcissas robesLUUUUUUUUUUUCIUS!

L. Oh shut up before she pokes you too!

R.looks up disbelievingly at LuciusYou, you said you loved me...

Silence falls oover the room once again, and everyone is looking at each other... Even teh two dead people on the floor who aren't really dead well what can you excpect from Angeliacs and Petras world. Moahha

D and H. Ohhh...

L: feels all eyes on him and laughs nervously Eehe...Remus...glurp I mean...NO! No I don't love you! sweatdrops

Remus starts sobbing and Harry and Draco goes forward to pat him on the back

D: Dad....how can you be so crule?

N: I-I had no idea you felt like this Lucius! hugs Lucius Honey, I'll gladly divorce you so that you can be with your one and tru love!

L: in shock N-Narcissa?

Narcissa smiles and Lucius goes forward and kisses Remus

all goes 'aaaaw'

D&H: Kawaiiii!!!

R: Wooooff! Come here honey! smoochsmooch

They both fall down and roll around on the floor

D: Wow...my parents are splitting up!

H: Don't worry babe, you still go me! smileflirt

D: Oh, yeah! kisses Harry


	6. chapter five

N.looks at Draco and LuciusAwwww, just like if they where actually related.

everybody turns to look at Narcissa

D. Uhh, what are you talking about..

N. Oh sorry dear, thats right that was my other son. Sorrystarts moving towards the door.

A. and V. Wait for us...

N. We are the three evils!

the three of them laughs madly and smoke comes out of their wands

D an H and P. Not again!

A: Well...actually...I'm not really evil...

Everyone: gasp

A: And this is just a twig glued together with a paperclip! shows her 'wand' and sobs

D: I KNEW IT!

A: sobs some more I-I just wanted to fit in!

N: Well you never will! As long as you're like one of theise weaklings! points at Lucius, Draco and other people that can be classified as weaklings

A: throws herself on the floor NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

H: Well, I don't think you're evil! points to Narcissa

D: SSSHHHHHHut up! thwaps Harry

N: twitch Why you little!

L: Avada kedavra!

Narcissa dies

L: Heeeey, Angelica, your twig works!

A: smiles Yay it does!

P: Uuuuhm...tries to go away from there, but crashes into someone

CLIFFHANGER! Hwo is this person Petra bumped into? Is Angelica rtuly NOT-evil? Is that really a wand? Is Narcissa dead for real? Does this sweater look good on me?

D. Where did she go?

H. Who?

D. I donn't really know but she was Angelicas friend now shes gone. And if shes not here that nmeans something becaouse Voldie isnt here either.

everybody looks confused at Draco who has an expression of a smart person on his face.

Hr. Oh give it up, you'll never be a Gryffindor, righ tHarry...

H.awkard moment

A. Can we please get back to the point here, Draco your mother is dead, Luccius, you just murdered your wife, Hermione your supposed to be shagging Ron in a broomcloset or something, and Remus...looks at Remus, just drag Lucius with you to the other room and shag happily ever after got it!

P. What about me and Voldie?

both enters the room again, well Petra never left since she tripped into someone

A. DO NOT INTERRUPT ME! Petra and Voldie how did you too get together?

P. I bumped into him? He was just sitting there on the floor talking in some vierd language.

everybody looks stunned and then jumps behind the nearest furniture for protection

A. We are doomed, women, childeren and sweeters first. Not you Narcissa, go back to playing dead.

N. scowls

A: Ugh...I've done all my commanding for the day now...sigh

L: sulking I want candy....

Ron: stands up and starts singing I WANT CANDY! Dududududu! I WANT CANDY!

H: takes over Draco on the beach, there's nothing better hugs Draco from behind But I like Draco when he's wrapped in a sweater!

Hr: Someday soon I'll make him mineglace to Ron Then I'll have Ro-uhm-CANDY all the tiiime!

Ron, H & Hr: WE WANT CANDY! dududududuuu! WE WANT CANDY!

P: REMIX! music starts all dance like

They stop singing and Ron dances forward to preform a cool HipHop dance

V: WORK IT BABY! TAKE IT OF! Ron throws his shirt at Voldie

Harry drags Draco with him on the dancefloor and Ron steps back. They both starts to dance a complex dance

All except Angelica joins in

A: sits on the floor Uh...you're all nuts....

Music stops and all freeze in a big finale

S: Wohoooo! claps

R. P. S. Shut up!

Voldie. Yeah I want to know how the song endsstands on the middle of the dance floor with Crabbe and Goyle dancing a very dtrange dance.

everybody looks appelled at Voldemort  
P. Aren't you supposed to be all evil and wanting to kill everybody.

V.thinks

A. Don't remind himtakes up her... uhhh, wand again and starts performing a charmLockhart...gah Lockha...

Hr. What? Lockhart where!looks away from Ron  
  
R. Wait, don't think of him, think of me mememememememe! Can't you hear me?

Hr. Do you wna tme to think of you?

everybodyAwwwww.....

Harry Potter adn the RHR crazy ness

Everybody. Don't speak, I know jut what yourr sayingstarts waving candels

V: Well...sighs I do have this love for music! I need it! I crave it! Therefor, I am evil!

C&G: Wohooo! claps Way to go!

D: Sellouts!

G: Uh...and scince are you on touchy-termes with Potter? looks repelled at Dracos hand on Harrys shoulder

H: shoves Draco Uhm, Dray...are you gonna tell them?

D: ....I'd rather not....

H: Are you ashamed of me? big puppy-dog-eyes

D: No, of course not!

C&G: stares with mouths wide open

D: looks back at Crabbe and Goyle Oh, as if you didn't know this was going to happen sooner or later!

Blaise and Pansy enters

Pa: Oh, Dracy-Pooh!

D: No, Pansy-sprungofallevil!

Pa: Lets make sweet lurve!

R: Hey, that only works for me! looks grinning at Lucius

B: stares at half-naked Lucius Heeeeello! sceducive grin

L: Just let me die.......

H: So that's, what? Five or six people in love with your dad?

D: Mmmhmm...this happens every time he takes of that shirt!

H: Yeah, it's something rather allouring about those...soft, but masculine muchles...slightly tanned skin....his perfect eyes, oooh, and that long hair...drool

D: slaps Harry Hey, you're mine!

H: Yes master!

P: comes close to Lucius Hehehe....grabs his arm

L: afraid Remus....help?

P: Rarrrrrr! licks Lucius arm

A: Eeeeew! Petra, that's just gross! You're getting saliva all over him!

P: I know! bites Lucius fingers in a seducive manner

B: Hey! shoves Petra away He's mine!

Pa: Yeah, and Dracy-Pooh is mitakes one look at Draco and Harry, who are making out againHarrys.....faints

V: starts singing a Spice-girls song If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends!

P: lying on the floor Ouch...that Blaise is sertainly possesive!

A: Yeah, I can tell! looks at Remus trying to get Blaise away from humping Lucius leg

Seamus and Dean enters too

Se: goes to Angelica How you doin'? (((I've beein watching to much friends)))


	7. chapter six

A. looks at Seamus with a silly look on her fae like shes trying not to laughOh okay!

Se. Sooo, How you doin?

P. Get off him he is not yours!tries to get Blaise away from Lucius

is Blaise a boy or a girl?

D. Give it up Blaise go hump Crabbe instead.

Cr. tears his shirt of and runs the scary porn star run with a kiwi in his hand.

Scream. Uhhh.. Is this the party?

everybody goes quiet

A. NO! No outer Hogwarts figures allowed...kicks out!

V. Lets get to know each other baby!Looks at Goyle!

H. Draco I think I'm going to faint!

D. I know...

Cliffhanger...

(((((Hwo knows if Blaise's a boy or girl! Who cares? XD)))))

Aragorn enters

Ar: Uhm...Hya all! I'm looking for a friend of mine! His name's Legolas....maybe you've seen him? He's tall, gorgeous and...oh, yes, he's an elf!

P: Hey, Angelica already made it clear; No outer Hogwarts figures allowed!

B: slides up and pushed Petra out of the way Heeeeello!

Suddenly Legolas appears

Le: hugs Aragorn round the waist Help meeeeee....

A: THERE'S NO POINT IN RUNNING, BABY! I'LL FIND YOU ANYWAY! Angelica appears with a dogleash in one hand

H: Now I KNOW I'm going to faint!

D: Honey, are you allright?

H: I-I don't think into Dracos strong, masculine, perfect arms

V: gasp Oh, quick! sqeaky voice Someone do something! jumps around

Hr: Let me through! I've read about this sort of things!

Ron: Oh, yeah...leave way for the mighty Know-It-All!

Hr: Thank you, Ron!

Ron: My pleasure!

F: Aaaaaaw, someone's got a not so secret crush! to Geogre ((it was just a question of time 'till I was gonna write them in here smewhere!))

G: Meh, they're probably shagging anyways!

F: You're probably right, bro!

G; You know I am!

F: Mom's not gonna like this!

G: Nope, she isn't!

F: Nope!

G: Nope!

Harry groans and twists a bit in his uncontionsness

D: Is it bad for me to be turned on by this?

Hr: Yes Draco, it is very wrong! Hmm...checks for a pulse I think he's steady!

B: Oh, what do you know? You're no mediwitch! starts doing a mouth to mouth

D: HEY! GERROF MY BOYFRIEND! hits Blaise

Hr: checks for Blaises' pulse Oh, this one's dead...

A: from her place, clutching Legolas leg Wow...you actually killed Zabini, Draco! Good work!

Le: Gerrof meeeee...whine

Ar: holds his sword to Angelicas throat

A.thinks wuickly out the perfect thingIf you let me go you can have Lucius.

Ar.hmm

L. Uho.. Not one more...NARCISSA SAVE ME!starts

Le. Hellp, please Aragorn you said you loved me...

Ar. looks from pleading Legolas to pleading Lucius ...

D. Nooooooo!No dots!

Hr. ... Sorry...

H. wakes up in Dracos armsD..Dra.Draco Malfoy will you marry me.

HR. Faints

Fred. Mom's really not going to like this.

Ge.Nope she ain't .

Fred. Nope

George. Nope

Fred and George... Why only now, they should have been here from the beginnig..Loves!

D: What?!

H: smile Draco Lucius Malfoy, will you marry me?

Ron: Ok, so he's lost it....

C: Lost what?

Ron: You know, IT

C: ooooooh...IT! nods knowingly

D: Oh...Harry...breathless

Ge: Woha...this is getting sentimental...

Ron: Tell me about it...

Pe: This is just disgusting! Gay couples should be forbidden!

A: gasp Percy, I can't believe you said that!

O: Yeah, I didn't hear you complaining last night!

Pe: What are you implying that I did, Wood?

O: Nothing, but a boy can dream, can't he? charmy smile

Ron: Uuugh...looks like he's gonna be sick

L: Uhm...and people aren't used to this yet?

Le: All you people are weird! gets smooched by Aragon

L: sigh Oh, my...

R: sneaks up behind Lucius and sneaks his hands around Lucius waist and growls sexy He he he...hey baby!

L: growl Why can't all just die...?

D: YES!  
  
everybody turns quiet and quickly turns to Draco  
  
D: YES HARRY! Yes I'll marry you!! I love you so much!

L. NO! Well I guess it was all lost anyway.growls

everybody growls at Draco and Harry

P. Yeah yeah, and I probably don't even get to be bridesmaid.

Ginny. Harry do you love him? I'm so happy for you and uhh, Draco?looks shocked and rthen leaves..

A. Why did everything have to go crazy righ tnow.

H. So You will marry me? YES!big kiss to Draco

D. Lucius, Narcissa?

L.Oh don't give me that look, yes you can have Harry.. Okay and a candy!

V: sob It's all so beautiful! cries his little eyes out

B: There there pats on back

A: By the way people, you KNOW that narcissa's dead, right?

D: Wha...ah, well, I don't really care! continues smooching Harry

H: gets smooched Mhhhmmpf!

F: Well, I'm out of here.....

G: Hey! Who wants to play Quidditch?

Everyone: WAIIII Quidditch!

They walk outside to the quidditch feild and divine into two teams

L: Hey, why don't we let the happy lovers get a team each?

H: Sounds good to me!

D: I've got nothing to complain about!

Le: Eeeh...we don't really know how to play kvidish...

H: It's pronounced QUIDDITCH!

Ar: HEY! Don't you yell at my lover! thwaps Harry

D: HEEEEY! Don't you hit my fiancé! punches Aragon

P: ooooooh! Catfight!

G: Ten sickles on Draco...

R: I always believe in the Gryffindor spirit, so five galleons on Harry!

Ron: Yeah...I would believe in the Gryffindor spirit, but the Gryffindor spirit is aparently shagging the Slytherin one, so I'd have to say I believe that Aragon will take home the game!

A: evil We'll see about that!


	8. chapter seven

Hr. I can't believe you 'd bet against yoru best friend.

R/ My best friend is shagging our worst enemy.

Hr. So would it be better if your best friend was shagging your best friend caouse then there would only be conflicts all the time!

R. Ohh I see so you're shagging Remus are you.

Hr. Who? I thought Harry was your best friend. What is wrong with you men!

R. makes the victory sign and then goes back to looking struck when Hermione looks

G and F. Okay so who wants death bringer guypoints at Voldemort..

V. Me, who where! I'll kill im!looks around and then stares back at the rest looking like he doesen't know what they're talking about.. Okay My squirrel got killed when I was young and my life has never been the same sincestarts sobbign onto Angelicas shoulder..

A. pushes the sobbing Voldemort off her and takes his wand You know I'm watching a cat fight!

P. Mmhfffpshewing her hands!! Go Harry go my darling!

Everybody. looks at Aragorn who has just taken out his sword and then at Legolas and Harry who seam to be having an intimate conversation by the lake that come from now where. There seams to be a giant squid in it...

A: Phew...this is all kind of boring....all I want is to relax in a hot bathe with crisps, candy and MER to drink....

V: And maybe with ME in the bathtub?

A: thwaps Voldemort Ey, no filthy remarks, or I will have to kill you!

H: Hey, would you, cause I'd rather NOT!

D: Hey, baby, when did you get back? kisses Harry

H: Just now! I had a disgussion with Legolas over here and we decided there's no need to fight!

P: sigh No more cat fighting...sulking

Ar: Ah, well you could probably start a fight with some of them! points to other HP chars

P: Yeah...I guess I could!

V: Does anyone want som icecrgets tackled by Fang

Hagrid steps in

Ha: Ey, I thin' I killd the evel dude...

R: Uhm...Hagrid...you sound like a surfer...

Ha: I 'no!

R: Uh...already then...

L: sigh Shagshagshag...dammit, why on earth did you have to feed me viagra?

R: Dunno...fun I guess...

L: growls angrily and drags Remus to a bedroom You'll just have to stay with me 'til the viagra wears of!

Ha: I-

Ron: Shush you!

Ginny Weasley stepps in.

GW. Ha, harry? Why are yo shagging your moratal enemy?

The whole room turns silent. Even the noises from the LUCIUSREMUS FILLED bedroom stopps.

L and R. Wow...

G. I don't even want to know what that was all about.

H. Well, I s'ppose is jus t'e go surfin again!

H. Draco I think we sohould announce our engagement now.

D. I think they had it figure out..

Hr. I think I know what's going on. We're trapped in some kind of different place where those peoplepoints meanancingly at Petra and Angelica are somehow making us do and say things we normally never would.

R. Shut up. I kind of like it here.

D and H. Yeah!

Voldie. Gerroff....struggels from underneath Dumbledore who triumphantly starts on the mars bar.Ha: Cowabunga dudes! Hagrid walks out with only bathingshorts on and a surfingboard under one arm

G: HEY! I wanna go to the beach too!

F: gasp ME TOOOO! Eh! whine

H: Uuuugh...idiotic people...

D: stands there in bathingshorts WAIiiIii! BEACH! takes out a bathingball

H: sigh I'm marrying an idiot...looks at Draco and smiles A gorgeous idiot that I love! beams

D: jumps Let's all go to the beach!

H: Okey darling!

R: peaks out of doorframe Uhm...I think we'll stay here! smile

L: Heh eh he! drags Remus in again

everyone goes to the beach

---At the beach---

D: runs around with his ball WEEEIIIIIII!

Ron: I can't believe Harry's actually going out with him....

Hr: I can't believe Harry's actually going to marry him...

Ron: I can't believe how great looks in those bahingtrunks...

Hr: I can't believe you just said that...

Ha: SUUUUUFIIIIIING! runs out in the water

V: sob My mars bar....

Du: munches on mars bar Namnam!

H: Ey, Draco honey, wait up!

A: runs past Harry DRACO! Throw the ball to meee!

D: MY BALL!

P: tackles Draco and takes the ball My ball!

A: gasp Petra! Throw me the ball!

P: No!

S: AAAGH! tackles Petra and takes the ball My ball! evil crackle

Ron: Eh, Petra! Tackle him! Take the ball back!

P: Bu-but he's so slimy...looks at Snape in disgust

A: Eh! stans infront of Snape My ball? Stretches her arms out for the ball in a very childlike manner

S: Aaaaw...pets Angelica on her head

Helena suddenly tackles Snape

He: laught madly Ah, aj hav takén de bollen! runs away

A: stared after Helena She...she took the ball...starts crying

B: There there! Blaise pets Angelica on her head

Pansy comes to the beach, wearing a pink frilly bathingsuite

Pa: Get your hands of that filthy mudblood Blaise!


	9. chapter eight

p. everybody tackles Pansy Parkinson! NOOOOOOOOOOW!

everybody runs forward and tackles the poor little bitchy slytherin

D. Uho...

H. What was that?looks at Draco who has just seen Ginny walk onto the beach with a beach ball

D. MY BALL!runs to attack Ginny and get the ball

G. Where did everybody go?thump OUCH DRACO MY BALL!

F and G. Oh yeah you go get him Ginny!

Ginny is chasing Draco around on the beach while Draco huggs his?!? ball

H. PASS IT TO MEEEEE!

D. Damn itwhispers . Oh okay Darling.now louder

A and V.MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEboth jump up at the same time to get the ball but neither get it and it lands in the water by Hagrid who is floating arouind on his super sized surfing board.

Voldie. Angelica? You wanna be my evil plotter and faithful death uhh, eatress?

A: Go eat sanpes thongs...

VOldie.starts crying

S. nearbyWhat exactly do you know about my thongs.grabbs his tush protectively

Voldie stops sobbing and checks out Snape in a scary..veeery scary way

S: shivers and backs away to Angelica Help meee...whisper

A: Hah, why would I?

G&F: Maybe we all can get to some sort of agreement? identical evil smiles

Angelica joins in

A: That sounds like a splendid idea! If we get rid of Voldiepants there you will have to do us a favor!

S: Fine! Fine! Just hurry up!

V: drool He he he

Angelica slowly gets closer and closer to Voldie

V: loosk suspiciously at Angelica and then back to Snapes...well...you know mmm drool

A: Heeeh...gets closer, clearly hiding something behind her back

F&G: giggles madly and evilly

Gi: Uhm...what are you doing?

F: Just be still and observe!

Angelica is now standing right behind Voldie

Hr: sigh That'll never work...shakes head

Ron: What? What is she doing?

Hr: She's obviously gPetra claps a hand over Hermiones mouth

P: Shush! Don't spoil the fun!

V: to stupid to realise anything Gneh he hee...

In a swift motion Angelica rapidly smacks Voldemort over the head with the frying-pan she'd been hiding behind her back

V: dead Xx

Everyone else: Wohooot! That was grrrreat Angelica!

F&G: claps Angelica on her back Way to go!

Pa: Nuuuuh! Master! is tackled and half-dead

P: Bah, shut up...hits Pansy with a baseballracket

L and R.join the beach Did we missomething?

L. VOLDIE!

R. BEACHBOLL.

H. Oh would you shut up about the stupid ball already?

Victoria Beckham walks past.

H. I think Draco is cheating on me with a beach ball!

VB. You only wish you knew half of it..strolls on with a tight grip on David Beckham

D. Uh.

F and G. ...

Hr. NO!starts to panickNo more ...

R. ...? You know there probably is a book about it?!?

Hr.calms downuh book??BOOK!GRANGER WANT BOOK NOW!

Voldie starts moving slowly as pansy gives him CPR!

A. Pansy? I didn't know you took muggle studies.

Pa. Looks around with a frightened gasp. Uh, no an I don't know Brad Pitt. I SWEAR. It was all Hermione!

everybody looks sucpisiously at Hermione

HR. Well she started hitting on him, I told her he was married, and then Remus came along.. and we all knew what happeneds then

Everybody agrees.

R. WHat do you lot want now. Can't a poor man even be horny alone anymore?

L.ATTACK!!!!

H: Dude...Lucius....You're not my bro' anymore!

L: lies on top of Seamus Huh?Hg: Dude...people...chill out...L: still on top of Seamus Did you just call me 'Dude'?Se: twitch Gerrofme!  
  
Hr: squeal I wanna have a squirrel! A pet squirrel! SQUIRRELSQUIRRELSQUIRREL! glomps RonR: muffled scream help meee...  
  
V: suddenly very much awake NEVER! runs out in the water  
  
Everyone watches as Voldie sinksPa: Oh, well...it was for the best anyways...He knew to much!F: Are you completely wacked? He knew nothing!  
  
G: Really....I could have sworn he knew something....Hr: Squirrel...H: Dude...D: Harry...darling, are you allright?P: to Harry I'm bleeding...shows tiny wound on her handDraco falls overH: That's such a turn-on...  
  
P: gasp Really?H: I was talking about Remus...D: YOU BASTARD! stares angrily at Harry and then at Remus and gaspesR: Huh? is totally oblivius to the fact that he ony has got on a things and a net- dressD: Uhm...actually, I can't blame you, Harry-darling!H: I wuv yew Djako! hugs Dracos' legs and has a puppy-dog look on his faceD: Aaaaaaw, baby!Se: Can't breath....XxL: Hey, are you saying I'm heavy? pissyR: Bad Seamus! 120 points from...uhm...what house were you in again?Se: Uuuhm...Slytherin...innocent squished smileR: Right'o! 120 points from Slytherin then! You little piece of shit!S: Heeey, don't dock points of my house!R: Oyeah, why not?S: Because Finnegan here is from Gryffindor!R: Uh, doesn't matter anyway...you're only after Lucius!H: tugs at Snapes sleave Cookie? big puppydog eyes  
  
S: screams GET AWAY FROM ME!A: bounce RARRR!


	10. chapter nine

P and A. Did you people forget all about us?

D. Yep.

H. Uh dude ofcourse we did, you're so.. Uhhhm. DUde..

HR. That really isn't like you.

R. Hermione what's wrong with you?

everybody looks at Hermione as something is moving under her shirt.

Hr. Uhh....starts whistling innocently..

Voldie.suddenly Voldie jumps out of the water, a bit too much alive to be normal, but he never was huh.. someone shoot me now! MY SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!runs in slow motion towards Hermione

Hr.Stands very still with a shooked look on her face, then starts moving forward in slow motion.

Everybody.in slow miotionNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

D, R ena H. Whats up with them dude?

P: sobs Uhm..dude...I don't think I'm gonna make it out of this alive! sobsob

A: ...WHAT are you talking about?

P: Dude...I dunno...

V: takes one look at Petra, screams and then runs away with the squirrel

Hr: Must get back squirrel! Orelse, the crab-people will take over the world! starts walking towards Voldemorst slowly, like in a tranze

H: Uhm...Hermione?

Ron: grabs Hermione Uhm, Hermy...what are you doing?

Hermione smacks Ron and starts walking again

L: throws a curse at Hermione and she falls down on the ground He he he

R: Ooooh, good work baby!

P: scream EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOUHI! YOU KILLED 'MIONY! panikpanik

A: scream DON'T SCREAM PETRA!

F: Myou! Shut up both of you!

D. DUDE! You killed Mione?!!?!

L.Now that Voldie is gone I'll take over the world, and that Remus is a very handy death shagger, uhm eater... whistles

H.and over to Hermione

Hr. SQUIRREL!!!!!!screams

Everybody. screams

F and G. WOULD EVERYBOY STOP SCREAMINGscreams

A. and P. screams backSHUT UP!

A.whispers the one with red hair looks kind of hot.P.whisperes back Uh, Angelica, most of the people here have red hair...A. Oh...points THAT ONE!

Voldie. ME??? ME??????????EMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

P. WOw I never realized that he had red hair dude it was a bad dye.. DUDE!

V: pets his fluff I'm so sexy!

A: looks at Voldies hair Can I pet yur fuzz?

V: looks down at Angelica with disgust Pansy! Remove this...thing!

Pa: bows Yes, your fluffyness!

R: takes one look at Voldies fuzz LOL!

L: Uhm...you're not supposed to actually SAY it!

R: LMAO! XD

L: sigh

P: FUZZUZUZUZUZUZZZ! runs right at Voldie and rips his hair of his scalp

Pa: lets go of struggling Angelica Uh...suddenly I don't feel like escorting you away anymore!

A: Yeah, I know the feeling! Get of me! walks away

F: WOW theise are just getting weirder and weirder!

G: The people or the convos?

F: Well...the people were already weird!

G: Ah....yeah, you're right!

Theo appears

T: AHA! It is me, Theo, the six-winged Angel of death!

everyone gasps

T: kisses Fred Mmmmph!

F: Mmmmph! Woha! That was a good kiss!

T: Ey! Why aren't you dead?

F: Uhm...I dunno...were I supposed to die?

T: YES! I use the kiss as a way of killing people!

F: So then you mush have kissed MANY people?

T: YEAH! Uhm...well...no.......usually my brother is always there to stop me!

G: You're a weirdo, you know that?

A: No, I'M a weirdo! Theo here is just a figment of my imagination! He can't help the way he acts!

T: Yeah, that's right!

F: Ah, well...I'm actually taken, so you can't go around kissing me anymore!

T: Aaaawww....

enter Charlie Weasley

Theo emediately looks at Charlie with a wicked grin on his face

A: I'm sooooo bad! ebil

D: Yes you're bad! WHY on earth do I have to wear this dress?

A: Because you're the feminine one! evilevileeeevilgrin

(((What the heck is up with the dress? Can you figure it out? )))

V. What? Are you saying she makes me evil?starts twirling his fluff in his hand he stole it back from Petra.

A. Nah I just made you wacked not evil, you where that already.

P. I rock.. Wait.. I do rock right?looks at Angelica

A. ...

Hr. drops her squirrel

Squirrel. ...

Ron.pats squirrel and Hermiones heads Hermione just calm down okay it ain't that bad...

Hr.hits Ron over the head with a big squirrel look alike

H. jumps out of the squirrel look alike thing.I think we should get Angelica and Petra out of here!whisperes I think they might be controling us.

everybody. Duh...

D. HELLO! Did you people not notice my dress.

h. Hot.

Neo and Trninity enter since they are just walking around dead anyway.

Neo. You people from Zion?

Voldie. Ava...

Pa.smack starts trying to loook gryffoindor I heard you saved the world

Trinity. And I can kil you before you can say voldiehasastupidfluffandthatvampirewannabeboyiswearingagirlsdress...

D. Dude that was a loooong word.

Pa. starts saying the word

Helena enters

Helena. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!¨

Snape. I am related to your old teacher I think, he used to have big fat stomach and you loved him, at least you kept writing that on your muggle locker.

Voldie. Shut up go join Lucius and Remus shagging Dumbledoore..

Helena. NO!

P. Yeah baby shake that silver beard.

Angelica, Fred, Petra, George and Charile who is giggling with the death angel sits eating popcorn watching Dumblidore and Lucius and Remus as Mc gonagall enters.

Mcgonagall. Snape why is your student wearing a silly dress?

S: It's very fashionable, don't you think?

McG: Uuuhm...no?

L: WHAT did you say about my sons' taste in clothers?

McG: looks at Lucius who has Remus wrapped around him Remus Lupin! What are you doing young man?

R: blushes and lets go of Lucius Uhm..nothing maam!

L: Stand up for yourself werewolf!

R: blushes some more and mumbles

T: Ah, you're a gutless freak! points at Remus And you! points at Draco looking angry

D: Yeah, what about me?

T: smiles Can I come to your wedding?

D: smiles back SURE!

A: Ooooh, please let me come too!

He: And me!

H: Well...alright Angelica, you can come! Uhm...but I don't even know who you are! looks suspiciously at Helena

He: I'm Helena, you stupid little boy!

D: No, Helena! You can't come!

P: gasp Then I won't come either!

A: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! hita Cho with a branch

C: IIIh! dies

Everyone: ...

A: Whaaaat?

Everyone: shrugs

L. Uhm, Draco honey, you know you might want to change your robes. They are ratheruhhm, how should I put it.

D. I know I know...

L. Oh you do? sigh thank Dark bad God for that.

D. They are way to sexy aren't they, and I wouldn't want to be unfaithful to Harry in anyway.

L. Yes that's right. WHAT?grows red ears, rather a lot like Rons

R. Don't you mind my ears.smacks Petra

P. Can I come to the wedding anyways? Please! I bring good gift yeah?

H.looks at Draco who shrugs Sure, you get to be in charge of the most important duty.

P. I LOVE YOU!

D. Don't even think about it.lazily holds up a turtle at Petra who shrugs and starts dancing around with a stunned Voldie who just go tback from whereve he was with Hermione.

H.whisperes to Draco Her and Angelica get to fix laundry.

D. sighs I never understood why you got put in Gryffindor.

H. What's that supposed to mean.

R. That Slytherins are the hot ones.

Everybody. ...

Hermione enters. Oh dear not now! NOT NOW YOU HEAR ME I DONT NEE THIS RIGHT BLOODY.

everybody.smacks over the squirrels head

Hr. Fals down on top of the squirrel that grew fangs and kils it but at the same time kills Voldlie for the i lost track of how many times he has died time.

A. and P. Everyhing back to normal.

Everybody. screams at each other and start getting on with one another!

P: gasps I just realised I don't have anything to wear to the wedding! shockedface

A: How 'bout clothers?

He: I'm going to wear a beautiful white dress that-

Draco pats Helena on the shoulder

He: hisses at Draco and then turns back Anyways! The dress goes perfect wi-

D: patpatpat

He: sighs angrily and then turns to Draco with a fake smile Yeeeeeaaas?

D: YOU'RE NOT INVITED!

Hr: gasp I'm not invited?

H: Of course YOU'RE invited Hermione! Just not Helena for some reason!

Hr: Oh! That's good!

D: sigh I need to do something...

Helena hits Draco over the head

D: turns back to Helena Oh, you're going down!

He: Eeep! backs away

D: AAAAGH!

He: Uh-oh! runs

Draco chases after her

L: sweatdropps Is that really my son?

R: laughs Oyeah, baby!


	11. chapter ten

P. bit shocked Harry, I think your boyfriend just ran away after Helena.

H.stuffing himself with chocolate frogs Yeah! guess so...

P. Well.

H. ...

Hr. gives him a warning look

H. Sorry...blushes

P. My point being, please don't let him kill her or something cause then I wont be doing your cleaning!

H.gasps but quickly regains composture OHoh. runs away after Draco and Helena

Voldie. Look at my beautiful girlfriend. pats Lucius I think she might be the one.

He. Oh darling voldie!

P and A. gassps and faints into Harrys and Dracos shocked arms they just come back from trying to see where the hell Helean got to.

Hr. I am NOT coming to their wedding, invited or not.

R. Well, Hermione.

Hr. Yeah?

R. It's kind of the dark lord turn vierd lord, turned dark lord, turned sex lord, turned voldie with a fluff wedding. I agree with you for once!

H.whisperes to Draco who still holds Angelica who is still of in a gobbly world of fainting in his arms Maybe we should have a tripple wedding.

D. I see the twosome, but where do you get three.

H. looks at Hermione and Ron

D. Duh!

F: scream THERE'S A BUG ON MY FOOT!

G: grabs a branch and hits the bug repeatedly while screaming madly BUGBUGBUGBUGBUGBUG!

A: wakes up fully BUG?! Where?!!!! goes directly at the bug

Hr: My squirrel will save you!

D: Wow...they're all completely mad...

H: NUUUH! Not a bu-gets kissed by Draco and suddenly forgets all about the bug

R: EXPECTO PATRONUM!

L: Xx Uuuh

V: Woha! This is like..um...starwars...maaaan!

He: giggles madly and hides the box of fake bugs behind her back

F: sob Stop hitting me!

G: BUGBUGBUGBUGBUGBUGBUGBUGBUG!

P: films it all He he he he...

Colin bumps into Petra

C: Oh, I'm sorry miss! suddenly, from Colins pov. a light is shining behind Petra, and you can se her shaking her head to revieal all of her short blonde hair Gah...drool

P: back to normal What do you want you little twerp?!

C: drools some more Veela...happysmile

R. Veela? WHEREstarts looking around madly and gets an angry glare from Hermione

H. Easy there Ron there aint any.. Vela? Where?

D. looks dumbfounded Oh yeah I know. It's in my blood.

F and G. Not oyou stupid

F. You didn't say bug.

G. Bug.

Hr. My squirrel is gone.

Everybody. YES

P. Who's a Vela?shrugs and keeps on filming Helena, who is selling a fake bug to Voldie for a very large amount of money.

He. What, this isn't real money you fakeevil person.throws the money at Voldie

Voldie. Oh shush...

L. You know, I didn't know the Veela in me was that obvious.

Colin. still drewling

A. Colin? What ya drueling at.

P. sighs Would everybody go back to hitting the fake bug now? I need better material if I'm gonna make it to Oscars!

R. ... Oh Lucius sexy!

A. Popcorn!shrieks

C: gets down on one knee before Petra Oh, you beautifullest of beauties! You Veela of the world! Marry me?

P: looks out from behind her camera you say that again and with a little bit more emotion?

C: nods enthusiaticly O-

P: Oh, and could you maybe turn to Ron and say it?

Ron: WHAT?

C: nods and turns to Ron Oh, you beautifullest of beauties! You Veela of the world! Marry me?

Ron: speachless

Hr: EY! thwaps Colin

C: twitching Ouch...

P: laughs evilly Now THIS is gonna win me that Oscar!

A: SQUIEEE! runs around and tripps over Colin

Angelica is knocked out while Petra, Fred and George laughs madly

D: turns to Harry Baby, lets go on a trip!

H: giggle Yeah, lets do that!

D: Does Sweden sound good with you?

H: S-sweden?

D: points to the growing pile of humans on the floor You think they would look for us in Sweden?

H: Hah, good idea!

A. Where did Dracodiddly and Harryrrryly go?sing songs

P. Em little thingys!

Hr. What if they where kiddnapped? We will never find them!

A. I write the script..

p. Ahem.

A. Wasn't finished!

P. huh!

A. I write the script here not some stupid voldy lover.

Hr. You what?

a. IT'S JUST A SAYING! Damn you people. notices the pile of bodies Petra?whisperes Maybe we should be leaving.

P. Yep kind of agree with you. But we'll have to take those sexy things with usnods at the rest.

A What all of them?

A: But...where did Lucius go?

L: I'm right here!

P: Yeah, where is he?

L: whaves hands frantically I'M RIGHT HERE!

R: gasp Lucius?! Where are you???!!!!

He: He's right there! points at Sava

L: No, I'm not!

V: Oh, Luciuuuuuus??? Where are you?

Lucius sighs in defeat and sits down on a rock

P: calls Harry Yo, Harry! Can you put Dray on the phone now, baby?

A: watches in wonder

P: Yo, Draydray! Have you seen yo papa?

A: gasps and hides behind Lucius while Voldie gets eaten by a bear

P: No, but Draypoohbaby! Yo papa is gone missin!

A: SQUIE! I've found him! hugs Sava

V: EEEP! runs away from the bear

P: Ai, sure babe!

A: comes back What did he say?

P: Draco and Harry sends their love! to the people

People: Aaaaaaaw!

Ha: Aaaaaaw, de cyiot babas!

He: Wha?

Enter Percy

Pe: He said: Oh, those cute babies!

A: ooooooh! notiseable undersatnding

L: I'M RIGHT HERE!

everyone goes quiet

He: Eh...we know...

everyone ignores Lucius who sits alone in a corner

P. looks hardthinking

A. What.points at Petra with a finger that has a banner hanging from it saying WHAT!

P. THey left us all.

He. Would someone smack the dude!

L. Wich one.

Hr.ignores

R. I think she has a point.

L. WHO has a point?

P. THey did didn't they!

L. HELLO!

A. Yes dear?

L. Who has a point about What?

A. Oh no bad baby, sit down. Sit down!

Voldie and Lucius sits down

L. She was talking to ME.

Voldie. So.

voldie Lucius shag fightr!

R. starts going quiet slowlu You cheeted on meeeeeeee.

p. So we shall all go then?

Everybody except L. Yep!

P and A and He. Sweden here we come!

L: screams DAMN YOU! What do you alway make me do things like this?!!! I was a perfectly normal wizard/deatheater AND I was straight! I had a wife( Who's dead now thanks to you!) AND a perfectly normal son who had every potential of becoming just as handsome and evil as me!

R: hugs Lucius from behind I love you baby!

L: AND I NEVER HAD TO FIGHT OF LUNATIC WEREWOLFS WHO WANTED TO SHAG ME EITHER!

A: Eh, you call that to fight someone of?

Hr: Cause I'd ore or less call it making sweeeeet lurve!

Ron: giggles and blushes

P: Well we can't stand here and fight! Now we have to track down Harry and Draco in Sweden for some reason!

F: WOHOO! SWEDEN!

G: Ey, what's so friggin good about Sweden?

F: shrugs Dunno, but as long as we keep optimistic about it, Angelica won't kill us!

A: looks at Fred with her special puppy dog eyes power Hewwo Fjed!

F: melts Aaaaaw, hewwo! pats Angelica on her head

He: OMG! Pr0n! points at Fred and Angelica

V: screams and hides behind Helena Hide meeeeee

He: He he he he...nerdy dork...

V: Ey, what's pr0n?

enter Percy yet again

P: Pr0n is the internetifyed version of the word porn or pornografy! nods

G: Fred....Why, oh WHY do you have to do this to a fragile little girl like Angelica?

F: pityfull eyes But...I didn't do anything...

A: sits on the ground Itsy bitsy spidersings

P: LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

V: screams again You monster!

F: sob I didn't do anything...

G: Yeah yeah, I guess I'll have to believe you then...

Theo: MURDER! laughs evilly

P: How the heck did you get in here again?

L: Ey, didn't you die?

Theo: uhm...no?

A: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSpider!

Hr: Where?!

V: scream

P: Wow, like...leave me alone!

A: stands up and brushes the dust of her clothers Woha, this is getting out of hand!

R: I wuv you Luci!

L: sighs Yeah, I wuv you to Remy!

A: Aaaaaaw!

He: Eeeeuiii! Yuck!

F: Shush! hits Helena with badmintonracket


	12. chapter eleven

somewhere far away in "Sweden"

D.sitting on a sand dune above the others with his beloved Harry Dorks.

H. They are mostly Gryffindors, noble hearted and...

D. Shut up I get it.snogg

back to the crazy people on teh beach again

P. Stop! For all we know Harry and Daco might be getting killed by some evil monster right now.

Everybody. ...

Hr. THey are probably shagging for all we know.

He. I am so agreeing. Uh. You did mean that as a bad thing right.

HR. ... Uh, no dude. their "in Loooooovwe"

R. Lurw.

L. Yep lurw.nods agreeingly at Remus Oh no, I've become a shag eater. Why oh why my bad bad evil ex lord.falls to his knees in front of Voldie

V. Shut up and dont drewl on my wife.

He. looks like she owns the world. secretly The plan is starting to work.

A. What plantotally to loud voice?looks innocent

P. Yeah what plan?

Theo. The one that she doesent want anyone to know about.

Everybody looks sucpiciously at Theo.

F. Carry on.

Theo. looks nearly as snobby as Helena Well, she was planning to marry Voldie, then abandon the poor bloke and take all his money and power, and then turn him into a Gringott turtle.

Bill.enters Gringott has turtles? screams Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

F. Got it already.

Bill. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A. hits Bill over the head with dead Narcissa When did she die anyways?

P. That's the spirit.

He. Lalala.. Spider.

Theo Oh and she was gonna kill us al wiht a poisonous spider.

G and F. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKscreams

A. nad P. So typical!

L and R.

Normaluh?

H: Ooops! tripps

D: Nuuuh!

Harry falls down and Draco goes after him

--meanwhile down therepoints--

Pe: Pladipus...

P:...WHAT?

Hr: Exactly!

A: erhm...why are we still at the beach?

F: My point exactly!

G: numb Why...pladipus? looks at Percy

V: screams PINK ELEPHANTS EVERYWHERE!

A: Over dosage, Helena! Overdosage!

He: Huh?

P: ...WHAT?!

F: Squieeee! Get of my back!

Ron: Everybody, calm down! And Helena, what are you doing drugging Voldemsquish

Everybody looks as Ron gets squished by Harry falling from the sky

H: sits up Ouch...

R: catches Draco Hey, where have you been?

L: Ooooh, Draco! Where did you come frome?

A: I want to marry someone and have loads and loads of kids!

Seamus runs in

Se: gaspes for breath Did...did someone say sex?

A: No...marriage!

Se: wide eyes away

A. Now why do guys keep on doing that every single time I even think marriage?

F and G. looks at each other and then at Angelica ...

P. I think they had a point there, but then... I lost it.starts eating on the t shirt

Ron. I'm hungry!

Hr. Youre always hungry. ust listen to Percy here, he has found a new way of d ecoding the cryptomaniac from the ages of the founders.

Ron.blinks turns to Petra What the hell did she just say?

P That she has the hots for your good ol Perc honey. Sorry to break it to ya bu tif you want that.points vaugley in the direction of Hermione while really thinking about Harry, you've gotta make a move for it. Run. Run and never ever...

He. NOOOOOOOOOO!

everybody looks at Helena

He. TO dramatic for me.

Colin. starting to get over the iitial shook of seeing a , uhm, well "Vela" Vela, oh Vela, let me be yourswhisperes to Petra I have never had sex before.

P. stands perfectly still for about a millisecond and then runs for her life. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIK. VIERD CAMErA bOY WANts sEX.

Seamus again. gasps Now I know someone said sex.trips as Petra lands on top of him

P. squirrel screams Colin.. Sex.. trauma... no... gahgahgah..

Se. Uhuh baby...

A. Cradevra raderovra

Seamus sports rabbit ears and a fony indian salsa accent

A. Nownow Petra, no squirrel would ever scream like that.

P.totally freaked

He. Yess.

Everybody. ...

He. Lalalalla

L: comes forward AND NOW FOR SOME COMERCIALS! brightsmile

---Voldie comes in wearing the Ipren-costume---

V: mutters

P: also comes out and pokes Voldie dircretely Say iiiit!

V: in a monotome voice I'm Ipren the intelligent painkill-

A: AAAAAAAAAW! CUTEIPRENMAN!

V: screams and runs away

P: STOP SCREWING WITH THE COMMERCIALS ANGELICA!!!!!

R: sighs And now back to the action!

---At Gröna Lund---

D: You think they'll find us here?

H: Probably, but they have to look for us tough! drags Draco to the rollacoaster

The others is placed out in various positions in Grönan

A: POPCORN! jumps around I awntpopcorngivemePOPCORN!

L: sigh How did we get stuck with you?

R: Uh..lets ditch her and go find you son!

L: Sure babe!

Remus and Lucius walks of while Angelica runs of in the other direction

P: uuuuhm...where did they go? looks around confused

Petra notises she's all alone

P: Oh, crap....

Hr. Why are we here? The finals are in exactly 12 months and 14 days and tirteen hours and...

Ron. holds his hands to his ears. Why oh why do I have a huge thing for that.looks at Hermione.

Meaenwhile underneath te rollercoster

P. Inky twinky spider, skyinky linjky .

H. and D. comes walking by with a huge hot dog

P. Found you!

Both the boys stop midway in eating the hot dog, and the theme song of Sex and the city plays in the back.

P. Wha tte? Uh shit.

H. Look over there.

P. Sure.grabbs Harry and drags him in the general direction that he was pointing at. Let's go steal some chocolate chocolates.

H.looks totally freaked and confused Dwaco save meeeeeee...

D. This relasionship is. Ah forget it. looks very Dracoish and smirks to a cocolate man

Chocolate man. Uh.

D. Thanksgrabs a chocolate cake. Oh little chocolate frog?means Petra This should get her hands of MY fiance.

Meanwhile...

A. into Remus and Lucius sagging behind the hauted house. Excuse me, but this is a haunted.. Uh. Yeah jsut kep on doing that.picks up Petras camera Helenawhisperes Get over here.

Meanwhile

He. heheheheeeeeehehehehehehehehehehlooks whackedeheheheehhe

P: looks all mesmerized and overly happy Chocolate? For Petra?

D: Yes, Petra! All you have to do is let go of my Harry and come over here! waves the piece of chocolate slowly in the air

Seamus crawls and lies down behind Draco

P: drools and watches the chocolate Grgghhuugrh

H: has a look of pain in his expression P-pain!

----enter slowmotion matrix rip of----

Petra lets go of Harry and runs right at Draco, ripping the piece of chocolate aggressively from his hand, this causing him to loose his balance and taking a step backwards, falling over the crouching Seamus.

----and slowmotion matrix rip of----

Seamus crawls away into the haunted house as Petra stands beside the fallen Draco, munching her chocolate

H: hurries to Dracos side, picks him up and runs away to the Paris wheel Eeeeeh!

P: munch Mmmmm...chocolate...

Seamus crawls away to the backside of the haunted house and jumps up and screams his lungs off

L&R: stops the shagging Eh..?

Se: rolls on the ground My eyes!

A: Eh...you stupid, stupid boy! Stop this madness and let the sexy beasts make sweet lurve as they wish!

He: from behind Angelica Ga...ha...in shock

A: sighs Oh, well...

L: blush Could you...like...go away?

A: sighs Oh, well...grabs a hold of Helena and drags her past the shagging couple to collect Seamus and drag him away also

Angelica disappears with Helena and Seamus behind the corner, but appears again soon

A: Continue! she flashes them a big smile before she runs of again

Remus shrugs and continues what he was doing

Fred and George runs up to Angelica who's dragging Seamus and Helena away from the haunted house

F: What's going on?

G: Who screamed?

F: And why?

A: Oh, Harry decapitated Voldemort and is now dancing around with his head impaled upon a stick.

G: Okies!

F: Already then!

G: If you say so!

A: monotone voice Yes, I am serious and not trying to hide the fact that Remus and Lucius is shagging behind the haunted house.

G&F: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

A: Yeah, now George, take your beloved Helena and carry her away from me, already then, yes?

G: YessirmamsIR! lifts Helena up

A: And Freddy-boy! Take your boytoy and lift him up! We all know you love him! points at Seamus

F: sighs and picks Seamus up If you say so....

A: Ah, I feel my work here is done! stands with her hands on her hips in a secure pose to show her winning talent of matching up people as Fred and George carries Helena and Seamus away from there

V: runs up to Angelica Eh! Ehe ehehehehe eeeh...cry Why is that boy carrying my beloved Helena away from me? big red snake puppy dog eyes

A: sighs and twaps Voldiepants I can't do EVERYTHING! You just have to waith for your turn....

V: Eh...

A: You see, Helena doesn't have a mind of her own when it comes to love and this HP convo, because it's fun to torture her! mad smile So, you just have to wait for George to die!

V: takes his wand and raises it high Gehehehe! gets tackled by rabid, wand searching bludger

A: Ah, sorry! Precautions, you know! takes the wand You're absolutely not allowed to kill anyone you stupid little twit! pets Voldie on his head

V: runs of I'm of to find my Helena!

A: ones again strikes the winning pose and keeps it, standing there for another hour before she gets tackled by another rabid, wand searching bludger

A. sees Petra standing with her chocolate, and then looks at Voldie Oh Voldiepants.

P.stopps eating Angelica why are you looking at me like that with Voldiepants in a tight grip and choking him?

A. Not choking himstruggels to keep Voldie quietshutting. him. up!

P.Oh. Could you maybe like, leave.

A. ...

P. looks down at her chocolate and then up innocently again with crazy puppydog i will kil you if you touch my chocolate even though I love you eyes. Smiles!

A. sighs this won't work. drags Voldie with her

P.blinks then shgurs and starts eating again.

D. Ha, caugh Harry?

H. Yes my love.

Dramatical matrix theme.

D. I can't go anyfurther.

H No! I can't do this without you Trini, uh , Draco.

D. Ye syou can. You must go, I told you I'd follow you til the...

A. What the hell are you to shag people doing.

H.looks offended Ahem, some people are still virgins.

A. ...hysterical laughter

Voldie. Hgaspselp!

He. F. and G. lalalalalalalalala

A. Where did you drop Seamus.

F. Whistles innocently.

Voldie. HELENA

He. VOLDIE!

slowmotion running and kissing and maybe shaggin

Everybody else. Ugh. ......

Hr. So totally dude . ...

R. Don't ask me!holds his hands up innocently

A: Eh, for my sake, I think ALL OF YOU ARE VIRGINS!

everybody stops what they're doing at the moment

F: Ey, what makes you say that?

A: I'm Angelica!

G: Oh...oh...that actually makes scence....

F: You're agreeing with her?! to George

G: Yeah! She's Angelica!

Hr: Uhm...that doesn't explain anyt-

F: Shhh, shhh Hermione! I think he's got a point there!

Ron: Actually...I think so to....

L: Do you think this dress looks good on me? is wearing a black and red, long dress

R: droolsOh, baby....

A: giggle You've never had sex for real, have you?

R: blush

L: is to preoccupied with dancing around in his pretty dark dress to notice anything

P: nibbles chocolate

Se: comes from the disco jet Who's up for some twister?!!

Everybody: Yaaaay!

major travelling to Hallonbergen for some reason

Se: dances TWISTEEEEEER!

Hr: Ey, we could have an all night playing games, watching movies and playing giggles truth and dare and spin the bottle! What do you say?


	13. chapter twelve

everybody.looks strangly at Hermione

Fred. That is so childish... FIRST ON ASKING IN THRUTH AND DARE!jumps onto the horses in Centrum since they by some not so obvious reason and looks cool

Goran Persson. Darling citizengrabs freds arm and looks at him with sosse puppy eyes. You might vote for me next time? Vote for Mepoints at himself Vote. pointAt.pointMe.points three times! MEEEEEEEE! I'M RULER OF SWEDEN!looks a bit drugged

A. So typically him.

P. I didn't know you knew the prime minister.

A. No, me neither, but I killed him right?

He. shook

A. I'm Angelica

He. understands ahhhhh...

P. Look, I think someone is finaly getting some action.

F. and Selurv

A: See, there's a lot of things that can be explained by me! Shall we have a go at that, huh?

G: Yeah, explain why Voldemort is acting all weird, will you? looks over at Voldemort who's chasing after a butterfly

A: Pfff, well that's easy! Because I'm Angelica and all evil people deserves to become deformed and confused passing through my mind!

P: laughs EVERYONE passing through your mind becomes deformed and confused!

A: looks at Petra .....yeeeees, but I'm saying only EVIL people deserves it!

P: Oooooooh!

Se: Well...I don't know about you guys, but this game is boring me! gets knocked down by a package of fishsticks

D: Ey, Angelica! You're a really got thrower! You know, we're missing a chaser on the Slytherin team!

A: smile Really?

Marcus Flint appears

M: YOU'RE NOT PUTTING A GIRL ON THE TEAM!

A: glare

M: sweatdrop

A: superglare

L: feels the tension and backs away with people behind him

M: tries to back away

A: What did you say?

M: Uhm...looks around nervously W-welcome to the team..?

A: wicked smile Good boy! Now get away from me!

M: looks down in the ground Yes mam...walks away

D: Haha! I'm starting to like this girl more and more!

H: Heeey!

D: turns to Harry Oh, but not more then you, baby!

H: smile

Harry and Draco kissing scene

He: IIUUUUUUU! Voldie! KILL THEM!

V: comes to Helenas side with a butterfly in one and and a lollypop in the other Kitty? licks the lollypop

He. turns to Angelica I know I haven't got this Harry thing, but wasn't that points at Voldiepants supposed to be evil?

A. So Petra have you seen the new Paris wheel, it goes ten thousand times slower and someone actually fell asleep and died from boredome.

P. Really? let's go check it out.

He. HELLO!

Pe. looks at Helena and then at Angelica But first, why haven' tyou paired me up with anyone?

A. Simple. Cause you're the number one boy chaser,

P. ..

A.glares

P. sweetdrops

Ancient hallonbergen librarian. DON'T YOU DARE SWEETDROP ON THE BOOKS!looks quite mad actuall

Hr. NO! glares at the librarian

Librarian. glares right back

Hr. glare

LIbrarian. ...

Hr. ...Glare like she did after she slapped Draco Malfoy in the face in their third year.

P. POPCORN!

F and G.loko at the people ME TOO!

F. What about me?

G. And me?

Ron.shrugs and grabs a popcorn bag magicced there by Petra, the popcorn lover.  
  
Ron. I didn't evenknow you liked popcorn?

P. Me either.eats

Everybody. eats

Voldiepants. Helena my darling, I have built you tteh most evil castle in the world.

He. looks like a fjortis at Voldiepants I am so over you, now I've got my lover, Achilles here.

brad Pitt. No! I'm not achilles. Would somebody tell her I'm not achilles, I'm Brad Pitt, and I have a wife.jennifer Aniston stands a bit away looking worried

JA. Brad are you alright?

Brad Pitt. HELP!

Jennifer A. Somebody help him.

Everybody. ...

A. looks with pity at the scene sorry dude, he's on his own.

P. BRAD!hits with a stick so as not to get to close to risk serious injuries caused by Helena. You costarred with Orladn Bloom right? I'll help you if you help me.

Brad. ANything.

P. GET ME GODDAMN LAGOLAS!NOW!

Brad. ...choke immortality. take it!

Jennifer A. Oh god this is bad.get's on the phone with Pheobe, uh, Lisa Kudrow

R: Hey, how the heck did we end up in the library anyway?

F: I....have no idea...looks dumbstruck

Se: And why the heck do we change places every time!

L: Yeah, and weren't we supposed to play truth and dare?

everybody stops what they're doing

Hr: big shiny eyes Wow! What a great idea Mr Malfoy!

H: Yeah, I actually like that one!

D: Hey, are you saying my dad has bad ideas otherwise? deathglare

H: Well, joining the deatheaters wasn't exactly a smart move...

D: Ah, you've got a point there...nods in agreement

L: HEY! angryface

R: Well...he's got a point...

L: grumble Yeah...maybe...pouts

G: TRUTH AND DARE!

F: I'LL GO FIRST!

Everyone: scared

They're all suddenly all stuck in Angelicas bedroom

A: ...

P: Can't breathe... is stuck in a corner with Seamus

A: HOME!

Se: tries to get away and runs right into the awaiting arms of Fred

F: Already missing me, babe?

Se: petrified

They all sit down were they find the space

F: Already then! We'll play this with a bottle, right?

George gets knocked down with a bottle

A: Ah, damn! I was aiming for Harry!

F: spins the bottle Eehehehehe! maniac laughter as the bottle points at Petra Truth or dare?

A: SQUEEEEM! CLIFFHANGER!!!!! XD XD XD

in the background the music from the lord of the rings plays softly

F. What the hell!

music suddenly stops and changes to hardrock

G. uh I didn't know you felt that way.

A. HELLO! I left a cliffhanger for a reason.

everybody. ...

L. And what might that be?looks dead sexy while trying to be evil What are you drewling at silly...

A. jumps Lucius

R. Well, he was getting a bit slow anyway.  
D. daggers

H. Oh baby!

Theo. I see I have some job to do.

P. hehehehegrabs seamus and runs for it

He. She's running for it. ´

Everybody.chase Petra

He. And she's got seamus

Everybody. shrugs

P.screams over her shoulder CLIFFHANGER RIGHT BACK AT YOU!thump

Hr. Auch that looks like it hurt.

A: REWIND THEN!

everything rewinds to the point where Fred asks' Petra the question

F: Truth or dare?

P: I BE TEH DAREDEVIL!

F: I dare you too..

Se: Ah, the tension is killing me!

Everybody: looks to Seamus SHHHHH!

Se: whimpers Eep!

F: Oh, I'll give you an easy one!

P :YES!

F: Kiss Lucius without getting killed by Remus!

R: growls and holds Lucius protectively

L: snickers evilly

P: Already then....

L: swetdrops as Petra slowly but steadily moves closer

R: growls

P: attacks Lucius and kisses him and then gets attacked by Remus

F: Dumdumdumlalala...sings

Petra comes back all bloody but with a smile

P: MY TURN TO SPIN THE BOTTLE! spins

F: Wow...that gave me satisfaction...is that wrong? turns to George who's nodding Ah...damn...

P: watches the bottle go round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and whatever EEHHE! great big smile when the bottle stops at Harry

H: swallows nervously

P: Thruth or dare?

H: eh..truth...

P: Have you ever had sex with anyone?

H: lol No! We've already had this conversation, stupid!

A: gasp Petra! He called you stupid! He's not denying the truth! You must kill him now!

P: eyetwitch Heeeey! I'm not stupid!

A: giggles and then abruptly gets attacked by Petra EEP!

H: Well I guess it's my turn! spins the bottle as Petra chaises Angelica round and round and round and round and round and whatever

He. REWIND THEN!

everything rewinds to when Petra asks Truth or Dareof Harry

D. Oh you mighty good ol evil, be thou will as...

P. Would you shut up?

D. My highly praised dark lord voldiepants, be thy will and kill the mudblood.

Hr. Eh... Harry I think you're boyfriends wants to kill me.

Ha. Not now Mione, I'm thinking.

P. Can't we all just lock Draco in in a cell and watch him dance

A: Meh...what's the point in that? Can't we all accept the fact that some of us are more random then the weird kids?

G: And whom of us ARE the so called weird kids...

L: I'm an adult, so I don't count!

R: Yeah, me neither!

L: Uhm...Remus...you're still pathetically childish and rather foolish, so I say you DO count!

R: mutter PMS queen...

L: gasp Says the one who used to wear his mothers dresses!

F: AAAAANYWAAAAY...what were you saying Angelica?

A: I'm saying; Let people be the way they are! grumble

Hr: moves away from Draco

P: I WANT MY ANSWERS!

H: Uhm...I forgot what you asked me...

A: stands up Now this is pointless! angrily walks away

Ron: Hey...eh...isn't this her house?

Sava attacks him from behind

Hr: NUUUUH! NOT MY BELOVED RON!

Sava licks him all over

Ron: giggles madly No-ho-ho-ho...!!! LET ME GO! AHAHAHAHAha hahaha!

Sava gives up on Ron, having drooled all over him already and goes over to attacking Seamus instead

A. comes back By the way, Computer, tv and radio is off limits. Anyway as I was saying.stalkt off

L. And you say I'm the PMS queen.

Everybody. looks at Lucius and then at Remus who suddenly starts to giggle madly, and soon after Seamus follows

P. I kind of figured himpoints at Remus to do something like that but what the hell got into youpoints at Seamus

Hr.slowmotion Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....

R. looks stupidly at Hermione who is throwing herself at the crowd while screaming.

Hr. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

F.gasp

EVerybody. You know what this is all about?

F. No.

Everybody.raises an eyebrow each

F. BUT MY NAIL JUST BROKE.

G. I know exactly what you are going through.

tuochy See if that would have been me everybody would have thought that I was wierd or something.

L.nods yeah... But you've gotta admit, it would be true.

R.looks offended Yeah I guessswocls

Hr. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

P. Ron would you get on with getting together with her aready!

R.looks confused as everybody stares angrily at him

Remus. growls more deeply

Noone. notices

Hr. oooooo.falls against the curtains and pull them shut as the fullmoon shows

Voldiepants adn Helena can be seen laughing with a imprisoned Josh Hartnett in the middle of the moon. uh yeah well they ARE riding broomsticks you know!

Cliffhangeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.


	14. chapter thirteen

P: Well, won't you look at that....Helena and Voldiepants on broomsticks. And they've got Josh Hartnett imprisoned...hm...what a surprise...

G: gasp LOOK AT THAT! It's Helena and You-Know-Who on broomsticks! And they've got Josh Hartnett imprisoned!!!

L: Just like the Weasleys to steal others light like that!

Se: Yeah...that was pretty evil!

L: They're evil I tell you! EVIL! backs away

R: Eh, honey...this room contains three Weasley-children and only one of you...

L: turns to Remus Yeah, but still! Eeeeevil!

P: Uh...guys....I don't care...

G: I was just pointing out a fact!

L: That Petra here just a second before you blurted out with her filthy muggler mou-eh...I mean with her sweet caring voice and her pretty lips! painful

Ron: Uhm...

Hr: raises eyebrow

P: stares in horror at Lucius

L: smiles charmingly

H: ...turns to Draco I wuv you!

D: turns from his father to Harry, not sure of what he should say

P: Eh...I think I'll just go over here now...motiones for the computer

F: Oooooh! Is that a comperutter? reaches the computer before Petra

Fred pushes a button and immediately jumps back and draws his wand when the computer sprungs to life

Everybody: ooooooh!

A. I HEARD THAT! comes runnig into the room wiht her wand. I have a wand?truns back to the others i hEARD THAT TOO!

lucius. IT WAS HIM! HIM I TELL YOUpoints at Fred.

p. Now thats evil...

Fred. Yeah...

G. IT WAS HIM! HIm i TELL YOUpoints at Lucius

Re. I'll open the curtain again.

Everybody. ...

Hr. Noooooooooo.

Re. I was just threatening you.

Hr. Oh, sorry, kínd of becomes a habit.

He. What?

A. Geez you can't even threaten these people to make them take something seriousley.

Se. pokes the computer Look dude a dude compu dude ter...

F. Seee.looks knowingly at Seamus

A.gives Seamus the evil stare but he doesent really notice since he is busy checking out the latest uhmmm...

P. Is that porn?

Se. Yeah.

P. Well uhm, it's, well.

He. SHRIEK! NAKED SNAPE!

Everybodygasp

Se. No it's not.

Everybodylooks at the screen

P. No it's not, it's only monkey dressed in black

Everybody. Oh..

A: Ah...well...nervouse OK! OKEEEEY! sobs So you've discovered my SICK FETISH of monkeys dressed in black! sobs some more

P: Uhm...Angelica...pokes You haven't got a sick fetish of monkeys dressed in black!

A: I haven't? stops sobbing

G: She hasn't?

L: No...no, that monkey has far to much resemblance with Snape to become a object of fetish!

A: sobs some more and looks at pic Yeh....I guess you're right!

L: I always am! shines

P: Hey, it was me who told you!

A: AGHTHANKYOUUUUH! tackles Lucius to the ground

Se: Eeeeeh...is this a nakkid pic of Lucius? stares

A: stops trying to choke Lucius in a tight hug and stands up, sweating nervously Well...

L: ...looks at screen in shock ...Ah, well...shrugs I'm not ashamed of my body! smile

V: uuuhm, helloooo! waves to get some attention

He: Yeah, precisely! HELLO! We've got Josh Hartnett here!

J.H: Mppppfhhhstruggles against the ropes

Legolas runs in

Le: I'LL SAVE YOU! shoots Helena and Voldie with his bow

J.H: gets out of the ropes My hero!

Theo flies in

T: MINE! takes Legolas

Theo flies out

J.H: stands all teary-eyed

He: stares at the arrow in her leg You've got no idea how much this hurts...

V: sits on the floor, crying

Hr: Shaddap! hits voldie over the head with a frying pan

V: out cold

G: EH! hits Seamus over the head with a frying pan

Se: Xx

F: NOOO! MY BELOVED!

Se: X-)

F: screams girlishly and collects Seamus in his arms

Se: smiles to himself

F: looks up at George You're DEAD!!!

G: screams and runs away, hiding behind Colin

C: blush Heeeello George!

G: hide Shush! I'm not here!

C. Ohhhh, of course you're not darling..

G. shook Yeah right.... That's it colin, uh, darling. HELP SOMEBODY!

F. gasps You're flirting with.. hehehehe, come on Seamus let's go!

Hr. Oh please, those two.

R. Yea...stares at Hr.

He. Fine! looks around but nobody hears her, uh, or cares I said FINe!

Everybody. shrugs

P. Noooooo!

A. Whatlooks nervously at the pics on the screen of her computer I didnt do it!

P. My orlando Bloomsobs

Hr, H, D, F and Se. Shush, we know how you feel..sobs too

H. But, looks suspiciously at Draco who is sobbing over Orlando Bloom you are'nt supposed to be sobbing over other men.

D. Oh, right sorryblush.

H.gasp you cheeted on me.

D. blush but he had pretty eyes.

A and P. Oh Draco.starts for Draco a bit dangerously

D. blsuh turns to sweet No please, you don't understand, no oh please LISTEN TO ME!

Lu. pretends he cannot see nor hear anything whistles

D. THanks a lot

Voldiepants. ... out cold

Hr. gasp their going to attack Draco

R. I thought you'd be happy about that, what's with the gasp?

Hr. gasps! There is no popcorn left for the show.

Everybody except Draco, P and A. Gasp

Se and F. snogging

D: sits in a corner, looking up at Harry with big, wet puppy-dog-eyes

H: takes one look at Draco and totally melts Wh-what?

D: holds up hand to Harry I hurt my finger...

A: screams WHAT?!!! runs forward, but gets stopped by Lucius and tied up to a streetlight outside her flat

L: comes back in again He he he! stopps Uhm...were is everybody?

S: lies on the couch in Freds' arms Uhm..yeah, they went for a walk...

L: Where??!

F: Dunno...

L: Ey...where's my Remmy?

S: Dunno...

F: Oh, you're so cute! starts snogging Seamus

S: gets snogged 3

L: Uuuh...I don't need to see this...looks disgusted Hmm...where could my baby be then? turns around and walks out the door

V: wakes up Where am I? looks around, but fainths again when he sees the snogging couple

Outside

A: tied up Gnaaagh! Let me go!

L: walks past Angelica

A: SCREAM

L: turns to Angelica I hope the mosquitos likes their little dinner! walks away

A: big frightened eyes NO! Don't leave me here! NOT WITH THE MOSQUITOS! screams some more

R: Hya, Angelica! Have you seen Lucius?

A: Let me go and I'll show you where he went!

R: sniffles Whait a minute! I think I can smell him!

A: No, that's just me!

R: No, I think I know the smell of my own mate, thank you very much!

A: mutters angrily

R: walks away

P.walks by Angelica Angelica!

A. Right herescreams HERE!

P.to Hermione and Ron Well, looks like it's only the three of us!

Hr. Better that way, no snogging coupples...

R.looks hurt

Hr. What.

R. Nothinglooks more hurt

Hr. Uhm..

Silence

Voldie. Helena! Help me in this hour of great need, for soon we shall rule this evil fucking worlgets hit in the head by George

F and Se. Move, we're watching a movie.

G. Wieeegigles like a girl What movie?looks

P.has been left all alone by Hermione and Ron who are so in love and studying for the tests in august Guys...

G. screamshides between Petra

Everybodystares at the tv screen

CLIFFHANGER IN YOUR FACE"!!!!


	15. chapter fourteen

Se: FRED! SEX! NOW!

F: ...but I'm watching a movieeeeeee...whine

Se: Sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexseeeeeeex! clings to Fred

P: Oh, this is just a normal Friday night to me!

Hr: It's Monday...

P: SHUT UP! runs away crying Shut up all of you!

Hr: Jeah....

A: comes in, spitting a rope out of her mouth Mmm...chicken taste...

L: suddenly appears What the heck?!

Se: clings some more Sex?

A: Ett, två, tre, fyra, fem, SEX!

Ron: STOP WITH THE NORWEGIAN ALREADY!

Angelica spins around and fixes Ron with a death stare

everyone in the room takes one step backwards

A: WHAT?!

P: Oh, he's so dead....

Ron: whimpers

A: Actually....I was talking...

dramatic pause

A: SWEDISH! le scream

Ron: faints Xx

A: boiling

R: from ouside COME AND HAVE DA SEX WITH ME LUCIUS!

L: ! skips out

From the outside

Re. growl

L.giggling madly

back inside

P. Dude, I can so not watch the movie with you two sex maniacs standing there.

A.boils

Hr. Your watching The beauty and the Beast?

P and Fred. looks up slowly and fixes Hermione with a glare

P. Is there a problem with that?

Fred. What she said.points at Petra

Hr. Come on you are two teenagers watching a pathetic childerens movie with no fact related facts whatsoever.

Fred and P. So?

hr. Well there is so much better things to do with your time, like S.P.E.W.points at a S.P.E.W badge on her school bag

P. Well let me tell you...

Fred.scream

p. Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatlooks scared

Fred. THEIR DANCING IN TEH HALL AND THE EVIL MONSTER...screams again

P. NOOOOOOOO!!

fred and P. bite their hands

Hr. stop thatstands in fron of the TV

A.stops boliling hahahahahaamad

Hr. looks at the crazy girl standing in teh door way

A. haha. You said mean thing about beauty and beast. you dead.squeeks excitedly

hr. looks back at P and F

R. sits up wow I see two Hermione's.falls back down again

Hr. THis is stupid.motions at the room in whole We should be back at Hogwarts training Harry for the big battle with Voldemortstill stands in fron tof the TV and now notices F and P standing up in sow motion.

A. POPCORN!

R- Sits up again. looks at the three being F, P and HR

Hr. Err, guys?

P. What di dyou say about OUR film?

F. rolls his sleeves Beauty and the beast make me cry!

Petra and Fred chaises a screaming Hermione around the room.

Angelica looks after them as they run out of the flat and then looks at the TV

Se: beltches

Angelica takes out massive bag of popcorn and kicks Seamus down from the sofa.

A: You know what? I do love this movie! I really LOVE this movie!

Se: from the floor Ouch....

Movie goes "Kablammo"

A: [Insert 'the scream' face here] Nuuuuuuuuuuuuh!

Se: still on the floor he he he

A: smashes Seamus

Se: .....ouch....

Leo comes in wearing a thong and sits down in Angelicas' lap.

A: grin

Leo: I am your bitch, Angel!

A: total fake swedish accent May bitch yoh be, Ja!

-----------

And now, a word from the real Angelica:

-----------

Okey, I could go on like this for ages, but I'm afraid that someone might die, so I won't! XD My exhuse is that I'm really really tired right now!

.....and I sorta forgot who's who and what's what!

Back to story.

-----------

Leo: suddenly stands up HELP! I need somebody! HELP! Not just anybody! HELP! You know I need someoooone! Heeeeeeelp!

Angelica stands up as well.

Leo&A: When I was younger, so much younger then todaaaaaaay, I never needed anybodys HELP in any way!

A: But now those days has gone, I'm not so self assuuuuured! And now I know, you've opened up the door!

Seamus: still on the floor Help me if you can, I'm feeling dooooown!

Lucius: And I do appriciate you beeing rooooound!

Seamus: Help me get my feet up of the groooound!

All: Won't you pleeease please help me!


	16. chapter fifteen

Hr. P. anf F.jumps into the room OOOOOOOOOOO!high pitched Help meohoh

All others. stare

Hr. What?

All others then F. Hr. P. stare evilly then look at each other.

Hr. Ops.

P. I did it again.

F. Played with your heart.

P and F. Got lost in this game... Oh baby babydoes silly Britney dance jumping around in red tights.

All. popcorn

Lucius, Where's Remus?

A.glare

Lucius. sob

D and Henter out of breath through the door and fall onto their knees. Oh baby baby...yeayeahyeahyeah... Oh baby baby...

P and F. looks down at the two boys-who-shagged and...

H. I HAVE NOT SHAGGED DRACO!

P and F. Yeah rightgoes back to thinking about the boys-who-shagged and ignores Harry's evil dagger stares

Hr. Now let me tell you what I've done for youappears with a swich in a dark red robe.

P. Fr. Se. H. D.... APpear behind Hr with guitars, drums and some other stuff

Hr. Fifty thousand tears I cried.

Authors note: Mayor writers block. Please don't kill meget's killed on the floor by singing Hermione Man is she goth!

A: ........I'm hungry........

P: hits Angelica with a pillow

A: dies

The-Boy-who-shgets smacked Uhm...I mean; H: What the heck is going on anyways?

Leo: Uhm...I don't know...

H: looks down Why are you naked?

Leo: grins No reason!

F: turns around Naked?! grins and drools when he sees Leo Heeeeello!

people swarm around Leo

A: wakes up Huh...?

P: hits Angelica with a pillow he devilish

A: dies...yet again

Ron: sees Angelica die Nuuuh! slide down NOT ANGELICA! desperately squishes her lifeless body

A: twitch

Ron: sob The sun'll come out...tomorrow......sob Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow...the rest of the song is unhearable squealing

Hr: .....growls

A: tries desperately to get away

P: hits everyone she can with a pillow

Leo: dies

A: gasp NOOOOGnnhghhggets squished again by Ron

Will Leo make it? Will Angelica ever break free from Ron? Will Ron ever live to see another day? Where did Hermione get that frying-pan from? Why am I asking all these stupid questions? I don't know!!! =O


	17. chapter sixteen

Matrix theme plays in the background

P.turns around slowly.Hermione...

Hr.turns to Petra slowlyPetra...

A.Noooooo...stops popcronkicks Seamus out of the suddenly appeared comfy chair and eats popcorn

H. Draco? Draco?Draco?looks lost

Hr.holds frying pan over her headAccio Petras pillow.

Pgrabs a new pillow no fairwhine

F. G. CATFIGHTjump around naked with dead Leo's ghost

Nearly Headless Nick. sob Why am I never in any of teh fan ficition?looks at Petra and Angelica WHY I ASK YOU! WHY?

P. goggles...

Hr. looks sort of scary Thump!hits Petra over the head with a frying pan

P. ...goggles some more Dude, that hurtlooks hurt

Hr. No, it can't be.looks at Angelica

A.stops with popcorn halfway into her mouthARRRGHgets hit over the head with a frying pan

Hr. Better.maniac

P. Why does she kep dying? I thought cat's only had like what nine lifes?

A.dies

Authors note. Why does Angelica keep dying? Why are there cliffhangers in the end of every chapter? Why is Hermione growing devils ears? Why is Ron horny? Where is Draco? Is Snape and McGonagall and Dumbledore really havin ga treesome and where the hell did Helena and Voldypants get off to?

DOn't ask me no questions, I will tell you no liesdevillish snicker


	18. chapter seventeen

A: When the heck did Leo die?

Hr: points You wrote it.....eh...and actually, you're supposed to be dead too...

A: reads Oops.......

P: Cowabungerlooo....

G: pfff...that's not Norwegian!

D: Jag är en fluffig liten kanin!

A: That's not Norwegian either...

D: gives Angelica a death glare

H: BABY! When did you get here? throws himself into Dracos' arms

D: What the who and when?

A: blinks

Hr: I can't take all this pressure! gesticulates to Ron who's humping her leg

P: oh, here, I'll fix it! shoots Ron

everyone stops what they're doing

F: You...just killed my brother....

Ron: Actually, I'm quite fine!

G: He's dead! starts crying

Ron: B-but...

A: Oooooh, pwetty! has just started a fire in a corner of the room

everyone once again stops what they're doing

D: still with Harry clinging to him Oh, great.... picks up Harry and runs out of there

What is happening? Is Angelica a pyromaniac? Or is she just flammable? Will everyone die? ....yeah...probably.... 


End file.
